Falling over

In a way, every time we take a step, we are committing to not falling over.

Commitment.  What a strange concept, especially in this day and age, when mostly we are oriented by our passing desires. Bingeing on Netflix is the closest thing we come to committing to a long term endeavor.

And yet without commitment, some of the most amazing things we take for granted and that provide our lives with such luxury and ease would not even exist. Commitment and a dream. For instance, the World Wide Web – It took an idea and the commitment to create by Tim Berners-Lee to allow you to read these words right now. And barely anybody knows who he is. Similarly, paper is such a blase item in our daily lives, and yet, when you think of it, it is an amazing thing – wafer thing flexible sheets of magic invented by the Chinese in 105 AD. So we can get bills for our World Wide Web in the mail. You get the picture.

A dream, and  the will to see it through.

Without the will, of course, nothing can be created. Will is commitment in action. Will is the dream’s course to fulfillment. Beginning in the ether of our souls, Will spins a web of matter to gradually edge itself into the world, like a hatching duckling, covered in the goo of birth.

As I talk with those who have started and run their own business, there is a current under their words that thrums with the will that keeps them thriving. It’s that current, that vein of will, that differentiates between the doers and the talkers. That is a real division in the realm of homo sapiens, one that is evidenced by a life led by others or a life led by one’s self.

I don’t have a moral judgement whatsoever about the right or wrong way to live, just this observation. I think a lot of dissatisfaction in people’s lives are created by a lack of commitment to a dream.  Really, the only thing to fear is failure, and failure doesn’t really exist anyways. There is only steps forward or steps backwards, but it is always a journey somewhere, through life.


Pissing on trees, part 1

In the act maintaining any relationship, there are boundaries that must be established.

A co-evolution of what that means to either party is probably necessary. There are always 2 or more parties – with 2 or more different ideas of  what is correct. But in reality, nothing in life is correct. A fundamentalist will fail at any real relationship because they think there is 1 way to do things, when there are almost an unlimited smorgasbord of ways to do this thing called life.

I’ve made many mistakes in this arena and I’m bound and determined to figure out why it is such an intense part of what makes me, and most likely every living creature, tick. Our most ancient reflexes pop up when our territory has been invaded.

So in our romantic relationships, we start out without a care in the word, happy that some wonderful person is part of our lives and making it sparkle again. After a while we start to get irritated at all the little things that our partners do that seem to infringe on our personal space or time. The person hasn’t changed, only our perception and feelings have.

How can we remain uncritical, and what is the fulcrum that tips our minds to critiscism? When critisicm, which implies moral judgement, enters the picture, I tend to become extremely agitated and thus unreasonable. But is there really a time when any off us are really reasonable? We like to think we are, but we are running around motivated by emotional states, hormones and neuron patterns, all day long.

I’ve found that those most convinced that they are logical are usually the least able to admit the illogical nature  of most of their behavior. This makes me nuts- mostly because I was like that for quite a long time!

I will simply say this: Reason can be used to justify almost anything, reason based on so-called logic. Using logic gives the user a sense of moral superiority and holiness that they imagine the other  person or creature who isn’t using logic lacks. So I don’t think it is the best tool in our toolbox. It creates hierarchies of control. He who has the most logic wins.

I believe our subconscious is the only compost pile that can really break down our lives and create a nutrient rich fertilizer. The answers are there, but our minds have so many mazes we can never really find them until we let go and let grok.  As we break down the raw detritus of our lives within our subconscious, we also need to be working on reconciling our conscious lives with our core beliefs. Again it seems that the most sensible thing is to balance out any extremes. Our answers can’t all be based on logic or emotion, we can’t imagine that we can even clearly see the big picture, let alone the small events that make up why we do what we do. Discarding hubris, we enter into real relationships outside of ourselves.

A fence is there to keep something in or something out. My life as an animal farmer is made up off a lot of fence work. Even in the relationship between me and my animals, we are still establishing a certain amount of understanding – they have a sense off where they are supposed to be and stay there as well as they can. If they really wanted to be elsewhere, they could. Most animals can escape their fencing if they really want to. So there has to be a level of understanding there – they know I will be there for them as long as they are where I left them. It’s much more complicated then that, but suffice it to say that it is never simple. It isn’t simply putting up fence and walking away – it’s a daily maintenance situation, a constant monitoring of what is going on with them.

Establishing respect and understanding in a personal relationship is a little like making those fences. It might sound a little harsh to those who haven’t kept larger amounts of animals, but believe me when I say a fence is little more then a suggestion. We do need our personal space, and we do need our personal lives – and we need those who we love to respect whatever it is that makes us tick.

Since in reality we don’t want to build fences around ourselves or create impenetrable shells, establishing boundaries is a little more like pissing on metaphorical trees. It’s important to inhabit the space that makes you happy – your happiness creates happiness around you. My happiness is essential to creating happiness throughout my circles.

Next time I will muse on the opposite practice – opening up boundaries.



whirl with it

Calm down.

It’s as simple as that.

There is literally nothing that isn’t solvable with some thought, time, and action.  The last couple of months have been a whirlwind, and I have been stressed to the max at certain points. Moving my whole life from my old farm, and the cabin I built there, has been intense. I need to give myself some breathing room, but it is hard with over 40 big mouths to feed and house and take care of, as well as situating myself in a new place, on new land, with new partners of various sorts.

There are only a few things that stand out in my brain at this point, the most important being that none of us can go through life without depending on partnerships. We need many to survive, and many to thrive. We don’t and can’t exist in a vacuum, and all that I’ve done these last few months has been possible with the help of many kind souls. I do alot on my own and that’s just my DIY independent farmer spirit, but only when I start working in partnership with others do things grow and flourish.

Not only that but I have been pondering how important it is to really find out who you are to be able to live your life fully. Partnerships help us thrive but only if we really know who we are and what we’re on this planet to do. Otherwise partners can be crutches and help us stay in stasis. Stasis is what the unrealized soul longs for, the comfort of the absence of life and death.

But that is what makes the universe spin – our infinite beginnings and ending.

No need to cry over spilt milk because there will always be more milk. No need to grasp on to some wonderful experience because there will always be something wonderful to experience. No need to fret endlessly over the possibly negative outcomes, because they will come and they will go.

We can’t grasp water (or slippery pigs) but we can flow with it, become it, dissolve in it. There is our only real comfort, that impermanence is permanent.

So let it flow, let yourself go, slow and low is the tempo.