I’ve been feeling sick. All kinds of symptoms, a new one to worry about every day. I started to think about bad habits I should cut out of my life to help me regain some health. This morning, though, I realized something. My problems weren’t all about my health. It has been a very stressful year or five, and I was blaming all that stress for my compromised immune system. But it wasn’t just that.
A couple days ago I had a really shit experience at a local feed store. Just a clusterfuck – they sold me what I wanted, but didn’t know it had ingredients I didn’t want, not to mention they didn’t have most of what they sold me and on and on. What I thought would take a few minutes stretched out to half an hour. I was filled with anger – what a bunch of incompetent idiots. I was going to complain to the manager and never set foot in the store again.
After that I had yet another shit experience. I chalked it up to the whole world being horrible at customer service.
But really what was going on was that I was falling back into old patterns. I won’t deny it, because it happens. We all fall back into old comfortable ways of being, even if they basically cause life to be more difficult in the long run.
It wasn’t all of “them”, it was me. I was closing up, getting pissed, and not being present in the moment.
Without conscious breath we drown. Without a strong back we crumple. Without a clear goal we flounder.
No matter what time it is or where we are in life, we can revitalize and get our mojo back with a simple flick of a switch. That and a whole bunch of work to retrain the brain and body to be what we actually want them to be.
So, stepping off that treadmill, I head back out to take care of business.